So drunk its hurt
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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