Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
