after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
