What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
