yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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