I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
