hell yes lets make some ravioli
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
