Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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