Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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