you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
