cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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