He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
