if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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