No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
