High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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