Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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