yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she smelled like a LAN party
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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