Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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