Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
How's work?
Spinning.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
