I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
