I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
