I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
