There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
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There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize