What did we do last night that was yellow?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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