singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize