toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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