They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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