I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
