who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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