Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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