so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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