Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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