i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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