i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
