She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
