I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
