I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize