my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
