I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
