You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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