You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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