She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
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it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
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Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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