if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
