So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
