I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
