i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
