I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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