my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
