He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
