so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
a search helicopter?!
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
