Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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