He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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