I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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