turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize