probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
