I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize