Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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