i don't like sucking hair
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
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