So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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