everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
