Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
