similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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