She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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